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15-Oct-2019 12:11

I found my answer from others who have lived with Narcs longer than even I have, children of narcissistic parents (my heart goes out to you all! And even as I have the strength, empathy, and forgiveness innate to my personality that make me a perfect target, these traits are actually a double edged sword.Once the Narc no longer can control my emotions, I can use them to cut him down.These insights are ONLY meant to help you manage your life and control what you can in your narcissistic relationship while you make your plans to leave. )I do not mirror for him any longer, meaning, I do not reflect his moods back to him, I do not react to his rages (mostly, sometimes he does go too far and then I coldly and calmly point out that hes full of crap and here is the proof of why he’s lying and then he changes his tune), and I do not let him make me his emotional puppet anymore.In fact, that is now his primary complaint about me, and what he’s whining to me about almost daily, that I don’t him anymore and what can he do to make me love him again?Ironically, with my Narc, my using this behavior has resulted in the rather unexpected result of him backing off with the anger and rages.

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He will probably go find someone else to adore him and then play the poor victim in our separation, saying I just stopped loving him and no matter what he tried, and he tried SO HARD, I would not give him another chance.

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Obviously, he sees my tears, emotional outbursts, reactions to his anger, and attempts at making up (i.e.

trying to get him out of giving me the silent treatment), as love. I am no longer impressed by his stories, and I no longer flatter him endlessly about why he’s so good at his job, how he does so well with money, and “what can I do to help”.And hopefully, then he will not fight me for a divorce, because honestly, who wants to live with someone who has no feelings? So for me, I feel this is my best option of how to manipulate a narcissist and much easier to stomach than the next method, which I tried first, and was much too hard for me to deal with because I am simply not that good of an actress.



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